Then we go around squawking about how poorly everybody else in the world treats us.We all hope to be forgiven for our minor indiscretions ("I’m busy", "I’m late", "I forgot"), but we don’t want to do much forgiving ourselves. Matt’s email has inspired me to write a longer piece on this for Match.com, but here are a few of the perfectly reasonable reasons that a woman (or a man) might not write back to you.Still, she manages to squeeze in a little online dating and coaching because falling in love is important to her. Specifically, there’s this one man who seemed interested in her. He later emailed to apologize – he got busy at work. A thoughtful man would have found a way to make it happen.Then I pointed out to my client that she was a very busy person herself.If he is attracted to you but is dating other people, he’ll get back to you eventually, without any additional prodding on your part. Think about it: If a guy is doing great, he might get ten emails – and can manage to respond to the three or four attractive women in his inbox.If a woman is doing great, she might get 50 emails, or 150 emails, or 400 emails.And that she has had to cancel appointments with me because of her super-packed schedule.And in that moment, it hit her like a ton of bricks, that despite her intelligence, kindness, and self-awareness, she was a complete and utter hypocrite. We’re all hypocrites in that we expect people to treat us better than we treat them.
If you’re dealing with a marathon emailer, you can scoot him or her along with this line: “I’d love to tell you more about my bucket list, but perhaps it’s best done over a glass of wine.” The same goes for the phone.
If you remember the movie ‘How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days’, you’ll know that even though the girl did everything “wrong,” the right guy still fell for her in the end.
And I like to think that people who are supposed to be together stay together no matter what.
In traditional relationships, we meet someone and get to know them.
But as social critic Howard Rheingold wrote 20 years ago in the book The Virtual Community, “In cyberspace we get to know them and then we meet them.” The problem is that there’s a limit to how well you can get to know someone this way.