To become uncertain doesn't mean that this person is wrong for you.Without an understanding of this stage, it is too easy for a man to drift from partner to partner and for a woman to make the mistake of pursuing a man more than he is pursuing her.The process of dating works so much better when there are clear guidelines to follow.Whether you are new to the dating scene or returning to it, think about the kind of relationship that you are seeking and go after that person who who is looking for that same.Your brain cannot, biologically, maintain the high of infatuation: You will fry. But all those lovely feelings of that first initial swim in the cool crisp pond of falling in love: How many movies could we watch about that? Then, the negotiation between security and autonomy, that life-long struggle, crawls in and we begin to land.2. The landing from that fantastic flight can be the scariest part. There is a great article along the lines of, “The day you wake up and say you have married the wrong person is the day that your marriage truly begins.” Meaning, this is the day where the veil of infatuation has lifted and the 20/20 vision of everyday living comes in.The infatuation will ebb and flow at different points. “Wow, she is neurotic.” “OMG, he tells the worst jokes.” “I didn’t think about him at all yesterday. This stage happens when all the to-do lists of life come toppling into the relationship and before you know it, conversations are focused on things like who’s doing the laundry, your boss, or the crazy mother-in-law.Early attraction often involves the physical attributes of the partner and include things like outward appearance, body type, interests and personality traits.At this stage, the attraction may not be too “deep” and each half of a couple is generally putting his or her best foot forward.
We may have anger, then denial, then acceptance, then bargaining, and then depression — then circling back around to acceptance.
In stage three, we have made a mutual decision to be in a committed, exclusive relationship.
The energy that went into looking for the right person can now go into creating a mutually loving and romantic relationship.
Unfortunately, most couples only get to stage two, and then they break up.
Some couples get to stage three and four, but they’re not really happy.