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Given the wide range of practices, some of which may be engaged in by people who do not consider themselves as practicing BDSM, inclusion in the BDSM community or subculture is usually dependent on self-identification and shared experience.and is interpreted as a combination of the abbreviations B/D (Bondage and Discipline), D/s (Dominance and submission), and S/M (Sadism and Masochism).

Over those years I've had hot, kinky sex with scores of submissive women. Before you meet a submissive woman for the first time, they'll often ask you what you want them to wear (including sexy underwear), how you want them to do their hair and what kind of makeup you prefer.

Smiling into the mirror, I snapped a photo on my i Phone and sent it to Ben*. I have written before about all my drama with Ben: He cheated on his girlfriend, Rachel, with me; he lied about going on a break with her for me; I was so upset when I found out he lied that I emailed her and told her he’d been cheating, etc.

Send me a photo.” I dressed as instructed, then stood before the wall-length mirror in my apartment’s hallway.

Ben and I weren’t just friends who became attracted to each other; we were both extremely, extremely interested in exploring sexual roles as a dom (him) and a sub (me).

Thirty seconds later, a text message: “Very nice.” Then I knew I could leave for work. But I haven’t been totally forthcoming about the nature of our relationship.

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