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Well they say softly softly catchy monkey (We don't meet primates before you offer) so you never know.. We are looking for messages of extra ordinary magnitude. And come on fellas, get the mrs to do a bit of housework and pick up those dirty socks/straighten that picture above the fireplace/unstick the underwear from the wall before taking any pics, not the most flattering backdrop it has to be said. ) but we look more at the cleanliness of the room you're in than how hot you both look! "Dirty house = filthy stinking couple with drinking problems" (no they don't).

I used to have nightmares about 'The Pit of Sarlacc' as a teenager, now its happening all over again.. Uuuhhhhg, just had a vision of the pics we get sent of men in black leather trousers or waistcoats, ooh need a cup of tea and a sit down now...

As for all those poor guys that have had an accident with the Super Glue and the Sky remote/Tape measure/Stella can/Lynx can (Africa of course)/X-wing fighter/picture of their grandmother/ stuck to their penis', you really need to get that looked at. All this 'my master lets me' rubbish, those scary black masks with little silver zip-holes? Or messages from couples where the fella cross dresses and you can't tell which is which, (surprisingly more often than you think)..

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