The child’s development of an emotional attachment to a primary caregiver in the first six years of life is very important.Behaviors fundamental to personal and interpersonal well-being are involved.As long as you keep these factors in mind - and recognize, every child of divorce is different so not all will apply - you will have a solid chance of having a fantastic, long-lasting relationship (and more relatives than you could ever hope for.)1. We really to believe in the institution of marriage but we're tentative of making the same mistake our parents did, which means we might put it off longer or have more hesitations around it in general. ) between Mom and Dad which means that in addition to sharing time with YOUR family for holidays, we also need to make sure that we're making time for both sets of parents on our side. We love them both equally, of course, but yes, we like one more than the other and no, we probably won't tell you until you get to know us well (although, in some cases, it's blatantly obvious.) 6. Anytime one of those studies comes out that says that children of divorce are more likely to get divorced themselves, we panic for a second. Especially if our parent's divorce was caused by cheating. Because of this, we're tight as hell and always there for each other. Personally, for me, I'd be just as content with a life partner, no marriage certificate necessary.2. Because most of us were raised being shuttled between two homes every other week or spending weekends at the other parent's house, it's important for us to have one - I repeat one - safe space with all our stuff under one roof. We know, it's super-annoying, we'v been doing it all our lives. Which confirms - #1 - if we never get married, we'll never have to get divorced. If that's the example that was set, we either do a 180 to ensure we don't cause the same hurt by being the most committed partner in the history of commitment or we accept it as status-quo and follow in our parents' dysfunctional cheating footsteps. You both seem to have had similar experiences in ending a marriage with children to coparent.In fact, your children are very close in age and you find it refreshing to talk with each other about them and compare notes, something you never felt able to do with your ex-spouse.
Preferably with a floppy dog lounging by the fireplace, one or two siblings, and organic herbs springing from a kitchen window garden.
Examples of these are (a) the ability to create deep and enduring love relationships, (b) the strength to tolerate the imperfect satisfaction of personal needs, (c) the attitudes and desire that lead to cooperation with others, and (d) the motivation to learn and work.
The course of these processes is set in the early years of life by the quality of the attachment bond that is established then.
you're in love with a child of divorce, are you? Only in later adult life, do kids of divorce really start to see the less-immediate effects that their parent's separation caused them.
Loving a child of divorce comes with a few more complications, but I assure you: we're worth it. Because they're the only ones who really, truly understand what each other went through: all the pain and the hurt and the not-ideal living situation. (Unless you've been in therapy for years in which case, good for you.) For the rest of us, we only make the connection between little habits/traits/opinions we have and hold - both good AND bad - and how our parents divorce directly impacted them.