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While I was at home, I particularly enjoyed spending time with one dear friend. Sensing my conflict, she asked that I think about it and said we would talk when I saw her that summer. We had known each other since junior high school, and I considered her the younger sister I never had. For the remainder of that semester, I agonized over what I should do. By being still and questioning myself, I gained access to my inner voice, which I had been drowning out in my panic. Do you feel you have made personal sacrifices for your relationship, and have they been reciprocated? We went to the experts to find out the most common scenarios where those pesky second thoughts can find their way in, and whether they’re truly red flags for your relationship.

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I decided that I wanted nothing less than God’s best for me. It means if you have doubts about the relationship, if your significant other doesn’t treat you with the upmost respect, if you argue more than you get along, if you constantly find yourself defending him or her to your friends, then end it.

I know that sounds harsh, but let me explain my theory on Christian dating. But I do believe that if you are seeking God’s will about who you date, He will lead you to someone that is a true fit for you.

I don’t mean that your future spouse will be perfect or that you will think alike or always agree on everything. But I do believe that if you seek God’s guidance, He will lead you to the person who is going to be the match for you.

If you haven’t already moved in together, you might be heavily considering it.

But even though you’re definitely in love and enjoy being around your partner, you may have had a few second thoughts about this special someone, wondering if some of their quirks, habits, or parts of their past are red flags. Virtually every paired-up partner has doubts about their significant other at some point along coupledom’s course, says Michael Batshaw, a psychotherapist and author of . Just ask your parents.) In fact, he believes that the real relationship doesn’t begin until the first major disappointment.

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