A transgender guy is someone who was born and labeled female by the doctor who took one look at their genitals when they were squeezed out of their mother. That’s exactly how it is when you fancy a trans guy. They will, of course, become a focal point for many people further down the line, even for me, but that’s a different issue than questioning your own sexuality.Gender is not about genitals and I’d wager that if you saw a CIS guy (a man with a gender identity that matches the one they were assigned at birth) you wouldn’t wonder what was in his pants before deciding if you fancied him. You’d see him, you’d go ‘phowar’ and your sexuality wouldn’t even enter in to your head. If you’re female and you’re attracted to someone who identifies as male, you aren’t a lesbian, you aren’t even bisexual. In this case, we’re talking about folks who were assigned female.
This is a big part of what my Girl Talk piece was about, but I want to address this particular issue really directly.As the partner of a trans activist, and someone who runs a community group for allies, I was trying to be the voice of someone who will never know how it feels to be trans, but has spent a lot of time thinking about trans issues.One of the questions was about whether it undermines a trans man’s identity for a woman to say “I am into butch women and trans men”.That was just a phase.'" "I'm a bi/pansexual woman married to a straight man. My parents never said that homosexuality was wrong, but they never really said it was OK either. But my church made it clear to me as a young person that it was only OK to be straight.Since I was attracted to boys, I just assumed I was straight and ignored the attraction I felt for girls.